By Pam Farrel
Since My lover said to me, “Rise up, my darling! Come away with me…! (Song of Songs 2:10)
Boredom can be a nail in the coffin of your love. People with marriage on the rocks often say, “We just drifted apart.” If you drifted apart, then that means you can drift back together! Often all it takes is a little TLC, Tender Loving Care—or as we recommend:
Time—Set aside a weekly date space (any time of day will work!).
Love-—Put on a heart of compassion toward your mate.
Creativity—Brainstorm some fun ways to spend time together.
These are a few TLC dates we have enjoyed, and in our book, Red Hot Monogamy, we have 200 red hot romance ideas!
1. Always and Forever: One man wanted to comfort his wife when her parents divorced, so he took her out on a date where the theme was “Always.” He filled the living room with helium balloons, and on the bottom of each was the word “Always.” Over dinner he gave her an inscribed bracelet with the word “Always.” On the back he had inscribed their wedding date and “’til death do us part.” He danced with her to the song “Always and Forever,” and they watched the movie Always. By the end of the night, she was sure he would always be there for her.
2. Love Lifted Me: Another man created a thank-you date where he and his wife relived some of the best moments of their marriage. With each part of the date, he gave her a thank-you card with a puzzle piece inside. As the date progressed, the puzzle was a picture of a hot-air balloon. The last thank-you contained the directions to a field where a hot air balloon awaited them. The words “Your love lifted me higher” were penned on the card.
3. Memory Lane: We often encourage couples to revisit their firsts: the first place you first met, the location of your first, “I love you,” the place you first kissed, the spot you had your first date, the destination you honeymooned. Nothing is more effective in sparking your love again than to realize what you have invested in the relationship. Having a date of firsts ensures you this won’t be your last!
4. Yee- Haw!: This is a getaway our sister-in-law gave my brother. He is a real cowboy. He doesn’t simply dress the part; he actually ropes, brands, and drives cattle, but only on the weekends. During the week, he works in the oil industry, but his dream was to one day own a ranch.
As a gift to her midlife man, his wife took him to the national rodeo finals. They wore boots, shopped in the cowboy booths, ate down-home food, and listened to country music on the radio—and a few years later the dream came true—he is now a rancher!
5. Pacific Rim: I traveled to Japan to speak to women in leadership, so while there I gathered up the makings for a dream date,Tokyo style. I brought home traditional Japanese music, a Japanese paper lantern, and a set of his and hers kimonos. I greeted my husband in the airport by placing a Japanese coin in his front trouser pocket and whispered in his ear, “Have I got a yen for you!”
6. Superman/Wonder Woman: I wanted to thank my husband for putting me through college. One of my nicknames for Bill is “My superman,” so on this “You are my hero” date, I gave gifts of all his favorite things.
I wrote a feature article, complete with a picture titled “World’s Best Lover.” I gave him a star on our walk of fame (inside the star was a tie tac with the word that Bill is known for saying when he teaches: “Wow!”). I also gathered my collection of items with the Superman logo, then added a jotted note remembering the times he rescued me.
7. Little Bit of Heaven: One of our most memorable romantic dates was one that was almost a complete disaster. I sent my husband a card that said, “Our love was made in heaven! Can’t wait to see you tonight!” He came home and all the kids had mysteriously vanished (to their friends’ homes). I gave Bill some of his favorite snacks and coffee. Then I disappeared with an, “I’ll be back in a moment to get you.” Well, “just a moment” became quite a long while.
As time ticked by, Bill began to debate how he should handle this: Do I go into our room and risk messing up some surprise Pam has dreamed up for us? How long do I stay here? Do I go in to help?
Fortunately, I emerged from our room. Bill could see candlelight and hear romantic music but he also read discouragement and disappointment on my face. He led me into our room. As we entered, Bill heard an unusual popping and sizzling noise.
In the dim light he spotted several pans of dry ice and water around our room. Instantly he knew what I was trying to do—I was attempting to make a cloud (heaven!) in our room. He said, “Angel, I think I know how to fix this problem.”
He moved all the remaining dry ice to the sink in our master bedroom, put the stopper in the bottom and filled the sink with hot water running slowly so it leaked out of the overflow. Amazingly, a cloud began to appear and rolled across our floor until it filled our room as high as the bed. We spent the night in heaven!
Set a date and plan something to surprise your spouse! It might become a “heavenly” memory, too.
Find more tips in Pam’s book, Red Hot Monogamy; 52 Ways to Wow Your Husband.
