By Virginia Grounds
The state of disconnection and fogginess experienced after losing a spouse is often called “Widow Brain.”
I am relieved to know there was a reason for what I and many others experienced as recent widows.
Experts believe the Widow Brain serves as a coping mechanism to protect us from the intense pain and grief of loss. We may think we are abnormal because the symptoms last so long; they can last up to one year or longer.
The more we deny grief, the longer the Widow Brain will last.
The Body Finds a Way to Cope
Some stages of grief are denial, anger, depression, and acceptance.
We may refuse to let our grief surface, but still have a foggy brain. We may get angry at our spouse for leaving us or at God for taking them, then cannot remember the source of our anger.
The Widow Brain will exist during grief. It is our body’s response to loss, trauma, and unexpected tragedy.
The Symptoms of Widow’s Brain
• Forgetfulness
• Extreme Sadness
• Brain Fog
• Irritability
• Exhaustion
• Numbness
• Nausea
Despite a sharp memory, I struggled to recall names and details that first year.
Sadness was deep, and no matter what I did, I couldn’t rise above it. The smallest thing set me off. The fogginess affected my work. I experienced every symptom.
Thankful for the time and healing, we can press on in a new beginning, hopeful for our future.
God knows the grief and struggle we have. He knows the pain and mental fog that keeps us in isolation. He heals the brokenhearted and has an answer for what is next for us as we navigate life without our mate.
We can endure by holding onto God and His Word, letting time pass while nurturing hope for what lies ahead. We will never forget our loved one, but with time, we will rise above the grief and pain to hope again. The healing process starts by focusing on the future rather than the past.
What Is Next for Me?
Widows may have considered that question. Though it may feel like it, our life isn’t over. We may still feel married, yet alone. The answer is to stay connected to God through His Word and prayer.
When Joshua led Israel across the Jordan River, he guided them to something new. In the same way, we find ourselves at a crossroads. We can stay on the riverbank of grief or cross to a new life, taking our memories as a legacy.
Moving forward following the loss of a loved one, especially your husband, is difficult.
Timing of grief is different for each of us. Grief is a process, but God wants us to receive His healing. He will push us toward a productive and fulfilling life as widows when the time is right. For me, it was writing a book, Guide to Deeper Prayer. For you, He will give what you need to stay connected to Him.
Virginia’s new book, “WINGS—Widows in New Growth Seasons”, shares stories of widows moving forward and offers practical tips. She is an author, Bible teacher, hospice chaplain, and founder of Hope4Widows.com, an online ministry helping women discover God’s plan for their future after loss. Symptoms from “What is ‘Widow Brain’ After the Death of a Spouse?” at trustandwill.com.
