By Penelope Carlevato
“When we neglect to get enough sleep at night, we are more likely to react impulsively and be triggered by minor irritations.”
As the holidays approach, I am beginning to get a little anxious about this time of entertaining. Not the cooking, but the stress of being with family members who aren’t the easiest to include in our get-togethers.
Especially as recent election tension is still high on both sides, managing holiday dinner conversations now demands as much planning as cooking and shopping.
It would be easy to exclude those with different views, but this is often the only time our entire family gathers.
These holidays are for making memories, with relatives traveling great distances to connect.
Instead of dreading the gathering, I offer guidelines for maintaining a calm and enjoyable meal, ensuring we cherish our time together despite our differences.
Pray That God Will Be in Focus
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6–7 NIV).
This is the beginning of a stress-free family dinner. Now more than ever, because of higher stress levels, take the time to pray and listen to God. Release your worries to God and confide in Him. He knows and cares about your feelings, so let Him carry your burdens.
In past years I have gone overboard with decorating, shopping, cooking and baking. I cut back a couple of years ago; my stress level dropped and I was not as crazy as in years earlier.
I found I actually had time to go to some Christmas activities.
Find Ways to Get Enough Rest
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28 NIV).
It is crucial to rest before family times, as it will affect your entire stress response system. When we neglect to get enough sleep at night, we are more likely to react impulsively and be triggered by minor irritations. When well-rested, we can navigate social situations better and express ourselves more clearly.
Block times on your calendar to unplug, put on the kettle, and relax with a cup of tea and time in God’s Word. Taking a walk also allows us to renew and to mitigate various levels of stress—physical, spiritual, emotional and physical.
Plan All the Way to Dessert
“Commit to the LORD, whatever you do, and he will establish your plans” (Proverbs 16:3 NIV).
I like to have everything made ahead and the table set the night before. I plan my menu with recipes that can be almost complete before the guests arrive. Water glasses can be put on the table a couple hours before dinner by using a lot of ice in each glass. Decide ahead of time where each serving dish will be on the table. Be willing to ask for help from those attending. Many of those attending will ask what they can bring. Be gracious and allow them to help with the meal. Write a detailed list of things that need to be done on the event day.
Always begin the meal with a prayer of thanks.
Practice Some Specific Redirection Phrases
“And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful” (2 Timothy 2: 24 NIV).
In the books I write about hospitality and etiquette, I have gleaned from the experts that discussing politics at dinners is strictly forbidden. Emily Post’s book on etiquette, written in 1922, advised against discussing religion, politics, or money. Over a century later, her guidance remains remarkably relevant. This is important, not because politics don’t matter, but because our relationships matter more.
Food and fellowship have always been a way for Christians to unite. As hostesses, we must provide a welcoming atmosphere and preserve family harmony. Here are some time-tested responses to manage and facilitate pleasant conversation.
(I only announce that we won’t discuss politics unless necessary!)
Here are some great conversation starters:
• Remember when …?
• What’s your favorite Christmas memory?
• Who knows the story behind …?
• Tell us about your recent …
• Best book this year?
• Childhood dream job?
• First job experience?
• Most exciting moment this week?
• If you were a missionary, what country would you serve in?
These conversation redirection tips help prevent heated discussions. If gentle approaches fail, set clear boundaries: “Cindy, I value our relationship, but I’d prefer hearing about your recent trip.”
As a hostess, I hope our guests leave the table with more than just a full belly.
I pray you will join me in expressing gratitude to God for His provision that we may break bread with our family and friends and see mealtimes as an opportunity to connect with God as we celebrate the birth of Christ. Growing up, our family’s Brussels sprouts were always boiled and mushy. My mother’s butter, lemon, salt, and pepper helped, but didn’t transform them completely. Years later, my daughter introduced roasted Brussels sprouts—a game-changer. Now crispy outside, tender inside, and surprisingly sweet, they’ve become a family favorite appetizer. I’ve never boiled them since, proving sometimes a simple cooking technique can completely reinvent a traditional dish.
Roasted Brussels Sprouts with Pomegranate Seeds
2 pounds of Brussels sprouts
¼ cup of olive oil
1 tsp Kosher or sea salt
½ tsp black pepper
1 teaspoon garlic powder
4 to 6 slices of crisp, crumbled bacon
1 cup of pomegranate seeds
• Preheat oven to 400ºF
• Wash the Brussels sprouts and remove the outer leaves that are wilted or brown.
• Cut off the stems of the sprouts and then cut larger sprouts in half.
• Combine the sprouts, oil, salt, garlic, and pepper in a bowl or bag and toss to coat the sprouts. • Layer a large baking sheet with parchment paper and spread the sprouts onto a single layer.
• Roast for 15 minutes, then stir and turn over sprouts.
• Continue roasting for another 15 to 20 minutes, moving the sprouts around to avoid burning. Continue to cook until they are dark brown on the edges.
• Place sprouts into a serving dish and sprinkle the top of the sprouts with bacon and pomegranate seeds.
Serves 4–6
Prep time: 15 minutes Cooking time: 30 minutes
