Healthy decisions bring a healthy life, but getting to these healthy decisions can feel as elusive as trying to capture a beautiful fluttering butterfly.
According to the Journal of Marriage and Family in 2012, poor communication was reported as the number one reason for marital dissatisfaction by 65% of surveyed couples.
For years in our marriage, Bill would think we were making a decision, only to have me bring up the subject again but with more options and suggestions. On occasion, I would think a decision was made, yet, perhaps, Bill failed to act on that decision. Finally, one day, my wise husband said, “Can we end our discussions with “Okay, is this a decision or still a discussion?” By adding this simple ending question, a lot of misunderstanding is solved, and we both feel heard and valued.
In our Marriage Meet Ups: A Planner for Couples Who Want More Passion, Purpose, and Productivity we help couples make wise decisions TOGETHER. Solid decision-making can be rigorous, and it can take time to discuss and dialogue (but poor decision-making takes A LOT MORE time in overcoming errors and having to backtrack!)
In our book 10 Best Decisions a Couple Can Make, Bill compares good decision-making to a wise carpenter. Bill built one of our homes and remodeled all the others and there is an important rule in carpentry: “Measure twice, cut once.” This is just a reminder that it is WORTH IT to take time to process a good, solid, healthy decision.
In our book 10 Best Decisions a Couple Can Make, Bill compares good decision-making to a wise carpenter. Bill built one of our homes and remodeled all the others and there is an important rule in carpentry: “Measure twice, cut once.” This is just a reminder that it is WORTH IT to take time to process a good, solid, healthy decision.
So Worth It!
Here are a few verses along with a little science that we hope will motivate you to take the time to process your decisionmaking. When we make choices rooted in faith and seek God’s guidance, we can experience God’s favor over us and will likely see a progression toward a healthier and more fulfilling life.
1. Healthy Decisions Aid in Physical Well Being
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” —Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV
Reduced stress levels research has shown that individuals who are decisive tend to experience lower levels of stress. A study published in the journal Psychological Science in 2013 found that people who struggled with making decisions had higher levels of cortisol, a stress hormone, in their bodies. Chronic stress can have a detrimental impact on physical health, including increased risk of cardiovascular disease,
weakened immune function, digestive problems—and weight gain! Amid life’s uncertainties, trusting in the Lord and making decisions with confidence can help reduce the detrimental chronic stress associated with decision-making.
2. Healthy Decisions Strengthen Our Mental Wellness
“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your bodies.” —1 Corinthians 6:19–20 NIV Enhanced mental health of being decisive is often associated with increased self-confidence and self-esteem. According to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology in 2009, people who are decisive tend to experience greater life satisfaction and overall well-being. Improved mental health can positively affect us by reducing the risk of depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders. When we honor our bodies as temples of the Holy Spirit and make choices that reflect this, it contributes to overall well-being.
3. Healthy Decisions Help with Greater Productivity
“Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity because the days are evil.” —Ephesians 5:15-16 NIV
Improved time management, when grounded in wisdom and faith, helps us make the most of every opportunity, thus granting us the ability to be swift in making healthier choices. In short, decisive individuals tend to be better at managing their time.
When you can make solid BIBLICALLY-BASED decisions, you’re less likely to waste time stewing over choices and good decisions lower the negative fallout—which can also become time consuming! Effective time management also creates a better work-life balance.
God Wants to Help You with Decisions
“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” —James 1:5 NIV
The overall key to healthy decisions as a couple is to invite God into the choice, dialogue options, then once in agreement, clearly state who is responsible for any next steps of that decision. We have created a simple decision-making tool “Decide, Do, Delight!” to aid you in your decision-making as a couple (available at Love-wise.com).
“By wisdom a house is built and through understanding it is established; Through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.” —Proverbs 24:3-4 NIV
