The broken woman who stood before me said, “But I’ve prayed to forgive, but my feelings of bitterness always return.”
This woman had just heard me tell my audience to lay those who wronged them at the foot of the cross and to ask God to give them the strength to let go of their bitterness.
The woman and I had just observed a glorious moment of freedom within the audience, yet she felt left out. I told her, “This sort of pain happens when we have trauma left over from our ordeals. Let’s ask the Lord to set you free from trauma and to replace it with God’s spirit of peace.”
After her tearful prayer, I encouraged her to continue to pray this prayer as often as she needed because emotional healing is often a process, especially when you are dealing with bitterness, unforgiveness, grief, anger, abandonment, and loss.
I understand. A couple of years ago I faced this same struggle.
Someone went to my board and made a false accusation against me, perhaps hoping the board would remove me from the organization I’d founded. My wonderful board saw through the woman’s false pretense and backed me up.
When Trauma Holds On
However, during the long process of being investigated and questioned, I felt shame, embarrassed, threatened, and angry. As much as I tried to let go, to forgive, to make sure that I did not harbor bitterness, I was still dealing with the pain of betrayal and the shock of possibly losing my ministry.
Even after I called the woman and forgave her, after the ordeal was behind me, I still felt traumatized.
It wasn’t until I led a small band of authors to a retreat at Asbury Seminary the fall before the Asbury revival broke out that I found my healing.
Before we left for Asbury, I’d studied the Asbury revivals of the past, when young people stood on the Asbury stage and publicly admitted their sins and struggles. So we authors also took to the Asbury stage to “confess.”
I held my breath and listened as these godly women confessed their struggles with the shame over their children’s choices and the difficulty of dealing with heartache. And then it was my turn.
A Bold Confession Yielded Lasting Freedom
I took a chance and confessed the shame I felt over the woman’s false accusation, and to my amazement, my shame and trauma vanished.
As I’ve contemplated why, the Lord showed me that when I confessed my shame to my peers, I was yielding my feelings of shame to the Lord, and He set me free.
Do you have painful feelings you need to yield to the Lord?
Let’s pray: Dear Lord, through Your strength, I forgive and receive Your peace. Through Your love, I yield my shame and painful feelings to You. In Jesus’s name.
Pray this prayer as often as needed, for the yielding of yourself will yield healing and the peace that passes understanding.
