By Lori Wildenberg
We know firsts; we do not usually know lasts. I knew this would be my last time with Becky. She spoke. I wrote.
Her words were filled with love, grace, and hope. Together we created five precious notes in all: one to her husband, one to each daughter and one for both of her grandchildren.
“When do you want me to deliver these letters?” “After …”
I was on holy ground.
Sacred thoughts were expressed. I was honored to be in this thin space between heaven and earth with my dear friend. Death clarifies things, doesn’t it?
The important becomes the immediate. The unimportant tossed aside. Each note was unique to the recipient. Encouragement and love flowed within the words. A challenge and charge to embrace faith was given to each person.
These written words were a gift, a treasure. Last words are powerful.
In Joshua 23, we read Joshua’s last words to the leaders in Israel.
He reminds them what God has done for them, what God has promised, and how they are to act. He warns them to hold fast to God. He cautions them about the consequences of not obeying the Lord.
Joshua declares, “Now I am about to go the way of all the earth. You know with all your heart and soul that not one of all the good promises the Lord your God gave you has failed. Every promise has been fulfilled; not one has failed. But just as all the good things the Lord your God has promised you have come to you, so he will bring on you all the evil things he has threatened, until the Lord your God has destroyed you from this good land he has given you. If you violate the covenant of the Lord your God, which he commanded you, and go and serve other gods and bow down to them, the Lord’s anger will burn against you, and you will quickly perish from the good land he has given you” (Joshua 23:14–16 NIV).
In reading Joshua’s last words and hearing Becky’s heart, I noticed there are five critical messages our loved ones need to hear.
1. Our love is unconditional.
We love and accept them no matter what. Even if we do not agree with certain decisions or views, we still accept.
2. God created each person on purpose.
He intentionally designed each one’s external and internal qualities.
3. Each human is created by God for a purpose.
Talk with your loved ones about their natural strengths and abilities and how they can be used for kingdom purposes.
4. Tied into purpose is capability.
God has equipped each person with the ability to fulfill their purpose. Encourage your loved ones when they have persevered, exerted e´ ort, experienced success.
5. God is present with us.
This is the most critical of all. Our loved ones need to embrace the message that God is with them. He is with them in the successes and challenges, in the heartbreaks and happy moments, in health and in sickness. God is with them always.
The messages of unconditional love, being purposely created, having a purposeful life, having capability, and the knowledge that God is with us will assist our children, in-laws, grandchildren, and spouses to step into life with confidence.
Like Joshua, Becky communicated her thoughts and hopes to her family and friends throughout her life.
Like Joshua, she was able to reiterate them with her last words. Words of life, eternal life, were the last words that came from my friend’s lips. Her example of love and intentional messaging motivates me to speak words that reflect God’s love, grace, encouragement, and hope to my family.
We may not have the same opportunity to express last words. However, we can speak constant and consistent messages of faith, hope, and love to our loved ones.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. (1 Corinthians 13:13 NIV)
{Portions of this article have been taken from Lori’s best selling book Grandparents Make Grand Partners.}
Lori is passionate about helping families build connections that last a lifetime. She’s a licensed parent-family educator, award-winning author, and national speaker. Lori and Tom have four adult children, three in-laws, and five grandkids.
