By Cynthia L. Simmons
Q: How can you endure Christmas if you have just lost a loved one?
So many of us understand the ache of loosing a loved one, especially during the holidays.
My father died the Sunday before Thanksgiving, which plunged me into grief. That December, I had gum surgery and then succumbed to the flu.
I battled depression throughout that holiday. The joy around me accentuated my sorrow and the empty place in my heart.
A Mother’s Unbearable Sorrow
I’m actually reminded of the story of tragic loss of Elizabeth Prentiss, a diminutive pastor’s wife with a sharp wit and knack for writing. Medicine in 1852 couldn’t cure her poor health or protect her family. Within ten days, she lost both her three-year-old son, Eddy, and her infant daughter, Bessie.
At that time, she was also sick and crawled to the nursery to see Bessie before she died. Her resources gave way, and she sank into depression. Longing to escape her sorrow, Elizabeth wrote about her empty arms and broken body. In her despair, she cried out to God and prayed to love Him more.
Jacob’s story from the Old Testament came to mind. She thought about the interactions he had with God. After he left home for the first time, he dreamed of angels ascending and descending a ladder to heaven. The Lord stood above and reassured Jacob of his covenant. Later, when Jacob worried about facing his brother again, he fought with a mysterious man all night and received the strength he needed.
From Despair to Devotion
Elizabeth asked the Lord for an encounter like Jacob’s to ease her suffering.
One night, as she meditated on the Bible, she penned the poem “More Love to Thee.” Afterward, her husband noted her improved stamina and commented that she had “… entered in the fellowship of Christ’s suffering.”
Years later, William Doane set the words to music, and the song appeared in a hymnal in 1870.
Elizabeth’s example demonstrates true wisdom. Our father knows the pain and cares more deeply than we can imagine.
The psalmist wrote “The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18) Therapists tell us we must acknowledge and feel the sorrow before we can heal. Indeed, our maker possesses the unique ability to restore our hearts.
10 Ways to Ease a Broken Heart
Here are some ideas to assist you in easing the grief your are experiencing:
•Pour out your heart to God – He can handle your emotions.
•Record your feelings in a journal. Write by hand, if you can.
•Honor your loved one by making a special ornament or cooking a meal the person loved.
•Share your feelings with a person who understands your grief.
•Avoid large crowds.
•Enjoy time with a few close friends.
•Come up with a new plan for Christmas Day.
•Donate in your loved one’s name.
•Find ways to relax. Maybe a hot bath with scented candles.
•Treat yourself gently. Grieving takes time.
The Lord can heal your heart over time, even though the sadness of losing someone never really goes away.
He wants us in those moments just to lean into Him. As He does, He can make us more attuned to the needs of others who suffer. That’s truly a deep pain into a purpose-filled miracle as we pour out that same compassionate care we needed to others.
