By Sandra Kay Vosburgh
Mirror, mirror, on the wall, I’m more worthless than them all.” Some have said it. More have thought it.
Many of us live it. Our self-concept is flawed. We place ourselves before a funhouse mirror, convinced we are looking at a true reflection.
We view ourselves as inferior to others. We know everyone is flawed, but we are more flawed. God loves us, but we are certain He loves others more. We live with a sense of alienation, a sense of not belonging.
For women in ministry, this self-concept will prove crippling. We cannot effectively serve the women we lead if we are plagued with self-doubt and the belief that we have nothing to offer. Our role is to lead them into spiritual wholeness. This necessitates our own spiritual health.
How Did We Develop a Negative Self-Image?
Marriage and family counselor Sandra Wilson believes it began at a very young age.
In her book In Abba’s Arms, she expounds the concept of “Parent Mirroring.” She explains that children develop their self-perception from the interaction they experience with their parents and other important people in their life.
Each attitude and action directed toward the child is part of a mosaic that makes up the picture of that child’s identity. Parents, grandparents, teachers, and peers all act as a mirror, and that mirror will determine how a child will view himself or herself.
Many children receive positive and loving cues from the people in their life and reflect that same image.
Others, however, experience a parent’s callous abuse, a teacher’s humiliating criticism, or painful mocking by their peers. These negatives act as projectiles toward a child’s psyche and seldom miss their target.
The Dangers of What We Pass Down
Such weaponry is not barred from the Christian home.
Some parents, in an effort to instill godly principles, may be unbalanced in their methods.
Mark Hamby, noted Christian author and speaker on family issues, writes, “Parents who are authoritative, dominating, and controlling, always demanding more than is necessary with little or no positive acknowledgement, can indeed produce depressed children.”
Correcting Our Perspective
Every aspect of our life is affected by the image we formed of ourselves as children, whether it be true or faulty.
Spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and relationally, we act and react according to the negative feedback woven into our souls. We may believe ourselves a failure because we cannot achieve the perfection that would validate our worth.
Perhaps we believe ourselves too bad for God to forgive, and so we live with nagging shame. Convinced we are unworthy of God’s love or that of another, we close ourselves off from the ones we need to embrace.
Transforming Our Self-Image through God’s Truth
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Philippians 4:8 NIV).
We are commanded to think on what is true, and that truth is found in God’s Word. When we meditate on the Scriptures, we allow the Holy Spirit to transform our minds. We will begin to see ourselves through God’s eyes, not our own.
Too, we must speak the truth—in love—even to ourselves. Daily we purpose to step away from the funhouse mirror and look at God’s Word for the true reflection of who we are. We are loved with an everlasting love. We are accepted in the Beloved.
Reflecting God’s Love to Those We Serve
As women in ministry, it is essential we see ourselves as valued and treasured by God.
This is how we want the children in our lives to see themselves. This is the image we must reflect onto the women we serve.
Sandra Kay Vosburgh, author of the award-winning Sackets Harbor Mysteries, is a women’s ministry director, Bible teacher, former pastor’s wife, and devotions contributor for David C Cook Publishing.
