By Pam Farrel
When a miracle touches one spouse, it touches the other.
Though I was the one who nearly died, God performed miracles for both Bill and me. For years I’d managed Diabetes 1.5, a rare and difficult form to regulate.
After a steady rise in my A1c, my doctor prescribed a new medication, but supply shortages delayed its arrival. I left for a speaking engagement in Texas, planning to begin the medication when I returned.
During the trip, I believed I had simply strained my shoulder lifting an overstuffed backpack.
Over-thecounter pain relievers, ice, and prayer offered only brief relief—worship and teaching God’s Word seemed to be the only thing that could dull the pain. Once I returned home, Bill took me to urgent care.
Even with stronger medication, the pain persisted and my system began to shut down. A few days later, I shivered under blankets despite warm weather. My heart raced, I felt nauseous and dizzy, and finally gasped, “I think I’m having a heart attack!”
His Earthy View
Bill immediately said, “I’m taking you to the ER now!”
Strangely, I felt no fear—only supernatural peace. What followed was unmistakably God. My 63-year-old husband carried me to my father-in-law’s wheelchair and then to the car. By God’s grace, we were together—not separated by ministry travel.
The ER, normally overflowing, was completely empty. They admitted me immediately and rushed me to ICU. Two doctors—one a cardiologist and the other a diabetes specialist—were on duty. The diabetes specialist quickly diagnosed Diabetic Ketoacidosis (DKA), a lifethreatening emergency. As they prepared to place me in a medically induced coma, Bill became my eyes and ears.
Around 4 a.m., the ICU team sent Bill home to rest. They told him, “She is in a medically induced coma. When she wakes—if she wakes—she will need you strong.” The doctor added quietly, “I’ll do everything I can to keep her alive. I’ll call if anything changes.”
Driving home in tears, Bill prayed words that mirrored Christ in the garden: “Lord, whether Pam goes to You or stays, I trust You. Me and the kids and grandkids love her so much … please, don’t let my phone ring tonight. But not my will, Yours be done.”
Bill contacted our sons, extended family, and ministry partners. Within hours thousands were praying.
My Heavenly Perspective
As my body lay unconscious, my spirit was ushered into God’s presence.
I experienced peace beyond anything imaginable. The scene opened like black velvet lit with shimmering gold—the radiant, living light of God. Angels danced in the glow, their wings glittering. Time didn’t seem to exist.
I sensed Jesus—my Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6). I didn’t see Him physically, yet His presence surrounded me with perfect peace and provision. Scripture became alive around me, especially the truth of “Immanuel, God with us” (Matthew 1:23).
We communicated mind-to-mind—deep, peaceful, holy. I asked repeatedly, “Am I dead, Lord? Is this heaven?” I was ready to stay if that was His will. I praised Him for my family’s strong faith and thought of the grandchildren I longed to see grow. Even so, my heart whispered, “Your will, not mine.” Then the scene shifted.
The dancing angels transformed into a golden mountain range with rivers of gold flowing downward. Loved ones gathered the treasure. Jesus showed me that this vision reflected the abundant answers to my daily Ephesians 3:20 prayer at 3:20 p.m.—His heavenly view of “exceedingly, abundantly above all we could ask or imagine.” Though I longed to remain in the beauty of His presence, Jesus finally said, “You do live in My love … but I have more for you to do. It’s time to go back.”
When My Eyes Opened
With those words, my eyes opened in the ICU. Machines beeped as nurses rushed in.
My hands were restrained to prevent me from pulling out the ventilator. A nurse explained everything kindly. I gestured for the whiteboard across the room and wrote “Thx” with a smiley face and heart. She began to cry—“Patients never thank us.”
Moments later, Bill walked in. Relief washed over his face. “Thank you, Jesus! Pam, you’re back! You’re going to be okay!” with a twinkle in his eye, he added, “You are all the way back! You’re writing and bossing people around!” He kissed my forehead and prayed praise over me.
I stayed another day on the ventilator and asked Bill to play worship music—because worship had saturated heaven, and I knew worship was my key to wellness. When I could speak again, I told Bill everything I had experienced. As we compared notes, we realized that God had given us parallel miracles—his peace on earth, my peace in heaven, and both of us praying Jesus’ words: “Not my will, but Yours.” Our hearts beat as one, and in that holy hospital room, we knew they beat with His.
Pam Farrel is the author of 61 books, including Glimpse of God’s Glory: One Woman’s Near-Death Experience. She and her husband, Bill, have been married 46 years and lead Love-Wise Ministries. They are parents to three sons, three daughters-in-love, and eight grandchildren. They make their home on a live-aboard boat in Southern California.
