Being confident is not the same as being conceited. Unlike conceit, self-confidence is independent of unhealthy comparisons with others.
YOU SHOULD LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF (MARK 12:31), BUT WHAT IF YOU HAVE NOT LEARNED HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF?
Self-worth is a needed asset for anyone who desires to love others well. It requires a biblical understanding of self-value as one who is created in the image of God. You must first be confident of your God-worth before you can fully grasp your self-worth. It also requires the ability to overcome the emotional and mental battlefield daily threatening to reveal all the ways you seemingly don’t measure up.
Everyone has setbacks. Even the best-laid plans can end up in ruins, but that does not mean it has to ruin your self-esteem. Disappointments are opportunities to repair, regroup and restart. Learning how to maintain a consistent level of confidence will help you be able to bounce back quickly when things don’t go as planned.
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1. Practice your strengths.
Not knowing your strengths is one of the main problems in women with low self-esteem. Everyone has something they are good at. If you are having a low-confidence day, find time to indulge in those things you excel at. Spend time discovering and appreciating the natural talents you have. Be creative; there are many types of talents. If you have a gift for encouraging others, send out an email of encouragement to a few friends. If you excel at baking, cook one of your culinary delicacies to take to your co-workers. Allow your strengths to show you just how much you have to offer others.
2. Visualize yourself succeeding.
What you think about yourself matters. If you dwell on your past failures they will begin a boomerang effect, daily resurfacing to haunt you. Imperfections are common to us all. No one always succeeds at everything. When you allow fear to prevent you from starting, the fear wins. Visualize yourself getting out of your comfort zone and doing those things you feel insecure about. See yourself getting beyond your place of weakness and succeeding. Allow your mind to open wide to receive the possibility that your weaknesses can be strengthened to a place of personal success.
3. Dress for success.
How you look on the outside affects how you feel on the inside. If you are feeling down, have a few special outfits in your closet that bring a smile to your face. It may be a blouse with a bold print or a pair of skinny jeans. For some, it may be 4-inch stilettos, and for others, it could be a simple business suit. Just make sure this confidence-building attire is something that accentuates all of your positive physical attributes, not something that makes you criticize your body. Every woman should have a go-to outfit that looks good on her at any weight. These are the ones you wear when you need that extra boost of confidence for a job interview or a special event.
4. Let go of perfectionism.
Confidence is the assurance that you matter and the belief that you are not defined by your weaknesses or failures. Perfectionism is the enemy of confidence. When perfection is the goal, you often set yourself up for disappointment. Let go of the elusive pretense of perfection and embrace your own level of personal success. Learn how to forgive yourself, love yourself and affirm yourself.
5. Affirm yourself.
We are often our worse critiques, so why not also be our biggest fans. Instead of mentally cataloging the things you do wrong, spend time daily recalling those things you did right. Write down positive affirmations and post them at various places you visit like the bathroom mirror, office computer, and on the steering wheel of your car. Every time you visit one of these places you will see a reminder of your personal value. Some of my personal favorite positive affirmations are: “My contributions are valuable to those I interact with.” “I am successful at being uniquely me.” “My presence is required, so I will live in the moment.”
Boosting your confidence requires spending time learning who you are and what you can do, accepting your unique qualities for the gifts that they are and forgiving yourself for being imperfect. Being confident is not the same as being conceited.
Unlike conceit, self-confidence is independent of unhealthy comparisons with others. When someone is confident in who she is, she can celebrate the success of others without feelings of envy. A confident woman is one who is secure in her own self-worth and at peace in her relationship with God.