How Do You Deal With Manipulative People?

by Debbie W. Wilson in Leading Hearts Magazine

YOUR TEARS DON’T MOVE ME,” A PROFESSOR TOLD A WOMAN IN MY HUSBAND’S COUNSELING LAB. His words stunned the group, but the woman stopped crying. “Those were tears of frustration,” he said. “They weren’t tears of brokenness.” I’ve thought of that when someone’s tears haven’t moved me and wondered what was behind them. Crocodiles shed tears when they eat their prey, but not from regret or sorrow.

Some people use tears to manipulate. Others use flattery. If that doesn’t work, they pout or explode to get us to follow their script. I joined the staff of an outreach ministry after college to work with high school students. I felt duty-bound to any student who reached out to me. My inexperienced faith confused my role with God’s. 

 I allowed a student to manipulate me out of time and sleep. Her urgent calls at all hours and unwillingness to acknowledge my efforts to terminate calls left me exhausted. When my director found out he offered some sound advice. He said the time I gave this girl took away from spiritually receptive students and from God’s best. My time belonged to God, and I was accountable to Him for how I spent it. His words resonated with me.

I’d begun to dread hearing from this gal, and his counsel gave me permission to limit my one-on-one time with her.

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HOLLYN: In All Honesty

by Jennifer Taylor in Leading Hearts Magazine

All relationships can be tough to navigate, but that is only amplified when you are struggling through the confusion with no one to confide in.  

This is a snapshot of feelings that recording artist HOLLYN experienced in a relationship that, in all honesty, ended in heartache and grief. That season and afterward inspired her to write six songs — the culmination of her current album Bye, Sad Girl.

Lyrically Speaking

Bye, Sad Girl is all about stories. Mainly, my story of when I walked through a pretty rough time in my life almost two years ago.

I went through a six-month period where I was in a relationship that was very confusing and crippled me with a lot of anxiety and depression. I really didn’t know how to talk about it at that time,” HOLLYN says.

“I remember feeling so isolated and like nobody could really feel what I was feeling. I had never been through anything like that before. It was so different and new to me that I kind of felt crazy.”

HOLLYN wants everyone who feels alone in these situations to know there’s a God who loves them. She started writing the songs about six months after the relationship ended but knew they were nothing like her other recording projects — because all of the emotions of her journey were just spilling out. 

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